Success and How I'm Impatient AF. But Am I Really?

I wish being a comedian meant that you could laugh all day. Just laugh. No drama, no stress, no worrying about the future.

But it's not as easy as it seems. It's a constant effort. I don't want to say it's an uphill battle...but since I can't think of a better analogy, let's call it a stair-master climb.

Like a stair-master, you know that with each step you take forward, you're doing something good for yourself. You control the pace -- you can make this journey go faster or slower -- but it's hard to keep going sometimes when you don't know how long it'll take until you reach your desired outcome.

I'm impatient AF. But am I really?

Knock on wood (or my Mac keyboard) but I would say I've experienced a lot of "early" success for only having done stand-up about a year. Maybe it was all this pent up energy I had from working in the entertainment industry (but always in creative-adjacent roles) or maybe it's that I've always been this funny but only just now got the guts to admit and pursue my dream.  But while I'm SO SO SO GRATEFUL for where I stand today, I can't say it doesn't irk me when people tell me to slow down, or not to expect things to happen so quickly.

I get it -- you have to wait to: pay your dues, to learn, to experience, and to practice. I'm not looking for a shortcut, but I'm looking to surround myself with the inspirational people, ideas, and platforms I need to be DIFFERENT.

You're right, NORMALLY, it takes ___ time to be comfortable on stage. It then takes ___ to find your voice and ___ for this and ___ for that. But what drives me forward is not the expected path. Isn't that what we're all in the game for, to change it? Why more of the same?

It's the same philosophy I fought when I told people I applied to Harvard and other Ivy League schools when I was just a high schooler in Fort Collins, CO. I'll never forget a comment a girl in my class once made, "You have to be like really smart though, and like no one makes it." Or the ideas people have when you tell them you want to be an actor: "Yeah but MILLIONS of people are trying to do that," and, "It's so hard to make it," and, "They're looking for ___."

But who the fuck are THEY?!

What posessed me to write this blog, and what's been on my mind the last week, has been that delicate and tricky equation that leads to success. What must go in to get what you want out?

Here's the only answer I have: no one knows. Actually, fuck that. YOU KNOW.

You determine your pace. You determine your confidence. It's up to you to GIVE IT EVERYTHING and pave the way for a favorable outcome to manifest.

While you can't control outside circumstances and events, you CAN control what you're feeding the machine. 

To that girl in highschool: I did get in to Harvard. 

To my parents dismay: Now I'm a (smart) comedian. #SorryNotSorry